>George Carlin's Views on Aging

>Maybe time is flying away.

>Do you realize that the only time in our lives when we like to get old is

>when we're kids If you're less than 10 years old, you're so excited about

>aging that you think in fractions.

>

>How old are you I'm four and a half! You're never thirty-six and a half

>You're four and a half, going on five! That's the key

>

>You get into your teens, now they can't hold you back. You jump to the next

>number, or even a few ahead.

>

>How old are you I'm gonna be 16! You could be 13, but hey, you're gonna be

>16! And then the gr eatest day of your life . . . you become 21. Even the

>words sound like a ceremony . YOU BECOME 21. YESSSS!!!

>

>But then you turn 30. Oooohh, what happened there Makes you sound like bad

>milk! He TURNED; we had to throw him out. There's no fun now, you're Just a

>sour-dumpling. What's wrong? What's changed?

>

>You BECOME 21, you TURN 30, then you're PUSHING 40. Whoa! Put on the

>brakes, it's all slipping away. Before you know it, you REACH 50 and your

>dreams are gone.

>

>But wait!!! You MAKE it to 60. You didn't think you would!

>

>So you BECOME 21, TURN 30, PUSH 40, REACH 50 and MAKE it to 60.

>

>You've built up so much speed that you HIT 70! After that it's a day-by-day

>thing; you HIT Wednesday!

>

>You get into your 80s and every day is a complete cycle; you HIT lunch; you

>TURN 4:30; you REACH bedtime And it doesn't end there. Into the 90s, you

>start going backwards; I Was JUST 92.

>

>Then a strange thing happens. If you make it over 100, y o u become a

>little kid again. I'm 100 and a half! May you all make it to a healthy 100

>and a half!!

>

>HOW TO STAY YOUNG

>1. Throw out nonessential numbers. This includes age, weight and height.Let

>the doctors worry about them. That is why you pay them.

>

>2. Keep only cheerful friends. The grouches pull you down.

>

>3. Keep learning. Learn more about the computer, crafts, gardening,

>whatever Never let the brain idle. An idle mind is the devil's workshop.

>And the devil's name is Alzheimer's.

>

>4. Enjoy the simple things.

>

>5. Laugh often, long and loud. Laugh until you gasp for breath.

>

>6. The tears happen. Endure, grieve, and move on. The only person, who is

>with us our entire life, is ourselves. Be ALIV E while you are alive.

>

>7. Surround yourself with what you love, whether it's family,

>pets,keepsakes  music, plants, hobbies, whatever. Your home is your refuge.

>

>8. Cherish your health If it is good, preserve it. If it is unstable

>improve it. If it is beyond what you can improve, get help.

>

>9 Don't take guilt trips. Take a trip to the mall, even to the next county;

>to a foreign country but NOT to where the guilt is.

>

>10.Tell the people you love that you love them, at every opportunity.

>

>AND ALWAYS REMEMBER

>Life is not measured by the number of breaths we t ake, but by the moments

>that take our breath away.

>