How are you Greg?
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It is building, isn't it. Great.

From: "Greg McAuliffe" <gmca0053@bigpond.net.au>
To: <undisclosed-recipients>
Subject: Fw: Shane Warne
Date: Tuesday, July 12, 2005 10:47 AM

Subject: Warney's at it again...

Shane Warne's team mates were perplexed one morning to see Shane walk into
the change rooms with a pair of women's panties on his arm. 
Somewhat used to Shane's tendencies, they let it go and went about getting
ready. The day wore on; Shane bowled a few overs and the batsman 
came and went with a puzzled _expression on their faces but no one dared ask
about the panties. 

Finally, Ricky Ponting walked up to Shane between overs and gently whispered
to him. "Er Shane," he said, "We've come to expect many 
unusual things from you, but we're a bit worried that you seem to be wearing
a pair of women's panties on your arm. Please tell me this 
doesn't mean more trouble." 

"Oh no," Shane grinned. "It's a Patch. I'm trying to quit."

...............................

From: Marilyn to Greg.

Subject: Fw: UNCLASSIFIED:- The Ant and the Grasshopper

  Subject: SEC: UNCLASSIFIED:- The Ant and the Grasshopper  

  THE ORIGINAL STORY OF THE ANT AND THE GRASSHOPPER  

  The ant works hard in the withering heat all summer long, building his   house and laying up supplies for the winter.  

  The grasshopper thinks he's a fool, and laughs and dances and plays the   summer away.  

  Come winter, the ant is warm and well fed. The shivering grasshopper has   no   food or shelter, so he dies out in the cold.  

  THE MODERN AUSTRALIAN VERSION  

  The ant works hard in the withering heat all summer long, building his   house and laying up supplies for the winter.  

  The grasshopper thinks he's a fool, and laughs and dances and plays the   summer away.  

  Come winter, the ant is warm and well fed.  

  The shivering grasshopper calls a press conference and demands to know   why   the ant should be allowed to be warm and well fed while others less   fortunate like him are cold and starving.  

  The ABC and Channel 9 show up to provide live coverage of the shivering   grasshopper, with cuts to a video of the ant in his comfortable warm   home   with a table filled with food.  

  Australians are stunned that in a country of such wealth, this poor   grasshopper is allowed to suffer so while others have plenty.  

  The Democrats, the Greens and the Coalition Against Poverty demonstrate   in   front of the ant's house.  

  The ABC, interrupting an Aboriginal cultural festival special from North   Queensland with breaking news, broadcasts them singing "We Shall   Overcome."  

  Bob Brown rants in an interview with Ray Martin that the ant has gotten   rich off the backs of grasshoppers, and calls for an immediate tax hike   on   the ant to make him pay his "fair share."  

  In response to polls, the Liberal Government drafts the Economic Equity   and   Grasshopper Anti-Discrimination Act, retrospective to the beginning 
of   the   summer.  

  It is quickly passed through the Senate.  

  The ant's taxes are reassessed and he is also fined for failing to hire   grass hoppers as helpers.  

  Without enough money to pay both the fine and his newly imposed   retrospective taxes, his home is confiscated by the government.  

  The ant moves to Asia, and starts a successful agribiz company.  

  The TV stations later show the now fat grasshopper finishing up the last   of   the ant's food though Spring is still  months away, while the government   owned house he is in, which just happens to be the ant's old house   crumbles   around him because he hadn't maintained it.

 Inadequate government   funding   is blamed, Kim Beasley now is appointed to head a commission of inquiry   that will cost $10,000,000.  

  The grasshopper is soon dead of a drug overdose, the Sydney Morning   Herald   blames it on obvious failure of government to address the root causes of   despair arising from social inequity.  

  The abandoned house is taken over by a gang of immigrant spiders,   praised   by the government for enriching Australia's  multicultural diversity,   who   promptly terrorize the  community.  

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